Give It Back to Me
by SassenachStarbuck
Summary: A sad look into Remus' and Dora's lives leading up to their deaths at the final battle.


**Title: Give It Back to Me**

 **Team: Ballycastle Bats**

 **Position: Beater 1**

 **A/N: This is for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition Round 9.**

 **Beater 1 Prompt: I Am Woman. For this round, the focus is on the female characters from Harry Potter who played important roles in the story. I got Nymphadora Tonks. I'm going to attempt some 90's canon and make this a Tonks/Remus. Additional Prompts: 1. (song) Losing You - Dead by April, 6. (quote) To light a candle is to cast a shadow. - Ursula K. Le Guin**

 **Disclaimer: J.K. owns us all. Snippets of lyrics appear in story, to further the plot line, and are not my own! I know that in the books, Nymphadora stayed with Andromeda until the baby was born, but that has been changed to make the story flow. I also changed Remus' feelings on the matter, because no one wants to know that their spouse regretted marrying them, and fathering a child.**

 **Word Count: 1950 without the Title**

 **Beta: The Bats!**

 **May 1997**

She slipped into the tiny cottage she shared with Remus. Story book esque vines crawled up the sides, climbing towards the chimney. Constantly looking for another inch of sunlight. Cream-painted wood paneling surrounded by shrubs and forest. Their home was a healthy walk from the nearest apparition point. It also wasn't far from his parents' old home, where he was able to transform every month. She was thankful, it was one less thing to worry about during wartime.

It was a pleasant sight to see Remus in the kitchen. He was standing at the stove stirring something that was giving off the most heavenly aroma. He must have gotten warm while preparing dinner and peeled his jumper off, as it was resting over a nearby chair. Dora, as she was called only by Remus and Tonks at the ministry, felt pride that she was one of the few who got to see Remus so open and unencumbered.

He was a dab hand at cooking simple meals. She wasn't a horrible cook, but her clumsiness carried over to the kitchen. While the food turned out alright, the kitchen was always a right mess. Walking up behind him, she slipped her arms around his waist, minding the stove in the process. It was this kind of domesticity that allowed her to keep her sanity while working in the DMLE, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, everyday. Laying her cheek against the uneven flesh on his back, she sighed in contentment.

Their nighttime routine was like most newlywed couples. They spent much time together, always sharing the same space. Dora was reclining against the armrest of the couch. Their couch was second hand, but they knew time together was more important than making a fuss over material possessions. Dora had got a AM/FM Radio Walkman from her parents that Christmas, and was listening to it incessantly every night once she was home, and Remus needed time to read and relax. This is how it went, Dora satisfying her need of Muggle music from her father, and Remus' feeding his fiction addiction with Dora's feet perched lovingly in his lap.

His current interest being the Muggle's take on wizardry. _A Wizard of Earthsea_ captivating his attention, and usually only going to bed when Dora pried the book from his hands, and urged him to bed.

Her feet slightly bouncing back and forth he could faintly hear the beat to one of the new songs it was by the Cardigans. Remus smiled to himself, realizing Dora had closed her eyes, and was silently mouthing, _Love me, love me, say that you love me..._

 **June 1997**

Time passed much the same during the abnormally hot English sun. Remus was munching on the end of a Chocolate Frog, one hand deftly holding _The Tombs of Atuan_ and using his thumb to turn the page when needed. The second time he almost dropped his book in favor of saving the Frog, Dora actually laughed out loud.

Dora happier than Remus had seen in a long time decided she wanted to freshen up the house. Dora dancing around using her wand to dust, Walkman precariously hanging from her belt loop. Lyrics heard throughout the house as Dora belted them at the top of her lungs. _But my love is all I have to give_

 _Without you I don't think I can live._

 **July 1997**

Dora set Remus' copy of the _The Farthest Shore_ on the side table. She knew they had to have a tricky conversation. Remus had fallen asleep reading on his end of the couch. Dora had been pacing for the last 20 minutes and finally decided on a course of action. Pulling the headphones down around her neck, as her inspiration crooned _2 become 1_. She gently shook him awake. He startled for a moment, before realizing that Dora had woken him.

"Hey sleepyhead, do you think we can talk before we head off to bed?" she timidly asked.

"Of course sweetheart. What do you want to talk about?" came his gently response. Dora looked down at her feet, feeling nervous and anxious again. When she looked up again to make eye contact she found Remus' smiling nervously.

"Is it true then, you're with child?" he whispered.

"How did you know?" she wondered aloud.

"Your smell has been different for a while now, but I was unsure and afraid that was the reason. But this will be okay won't it?" he shakily questioned.

"Of course it will silly man, our child will have the coolest mum, and the smartest da', so why wouldn't it be alright?" she told him, gaining confidence with every word she spoke. She sat down beside him, "you know to light a candle is to cast a shadow… we will no doubt have our obstacles but we will face them together."

Remus chuckled to himself as he quoted back to her, "I had forgotten how much light there is in the world, till you gave it back to me." She smiled happily, tears slowly moving down her cheeks. This was one of the many reasons she loved this man. He was sophisticated, intelligent, and could match her wit with book quotes from her favorite squib author, one she had recently passed along to Remus himself.

"Do you want to tell others?" he asked as they were settling in later that night. "You know in a few days time we are to move Harry. It would be the perfect time, although I want to remind you how dangerous the mission is going to be now that you're pregnant. However, it's not like we didn't know the risks before. The stakes are just a little higher now."

"Remus I don't have to remind you that I am an Auror. I do believe that women have been having children for a long time now. Doing my part to keeping the future safe guarded, especially now that I have a personal stake in that future, is most important. Everything will be fine."

 **Late July, 1997**

Although the grief tried to shake her will, she tried to not let the death of her close friend and mentor bother her. It made her cling to what she had, knowing that a life without Remus after so much loss would break her. Alastor "Mad Eye" Moody, her mentor and supervisor, had been telling her for years, that "war was coming, one must have constant vigilance". Now he was gone, and she would have to continue her precarious situation working for the Order of the Phoenix, and still maintaining her position as an Auror in the DMLE. What worried her the most had been Remus. He had not been the same since the night they had moved Harry. Dora is worried, Remus is pacing the living room, obviously deeply concerned about something. Dora takes a seat on the end of the couch just staring at the tele although it's off.

Remus starts talking out loud during the last pace about the room. He rambles and tells her about his guilt of the Potters' and Sirius' death. He feels like he could have done something more to protect Harry after he discovered James' and Lily's death. He asks her if what he should do. His guilt from the last twenty seeping out as each word spills from his lips. Finally, he states that he wants to go and help Harry on his secret mission to defeat the Dark Lord.

Dora's words and Dora's face says that he should go, that she will be fine until he returns. Knowing that even as they spoke her mother was in hiding, and her father, a muggle-born, was on the run. She could sacrifice her feelings, because three teenagers were going to need all the help they could get.

 **August 4th, 1997**

When Remus had ventured out two days prior Dora wasn't as worried as she originally thought she would be. Magic and Remus' lycanthropy had helped determine that she was pregnant before most Muggle inventions could. However, at five weeks pregnant her nausea was in full swing. She continued going to work, she was determined to make sure that they didn't know she had allegiances with the Order. She had also told no one at the Ministry that she was pregnant, most still had no idea she was married. The less that they knew the better.

It was the second night she had been apart from Remus and was currently debating whether she should just go into hiding with her mother, at least until the baby was born. Just like Natalie Imbruglia she was _Torn_ , and all out of faith. Confused and upset at her current bout of mood swings, she pulled off her headphones and set them on the nightstand as she attempted to sleep once more without Remus by her side.

Somewhere in London, Harry Potter was telling Remus what a horrible mistake he had made in leaving his pregnant wife and unborn child behind. Feeling thoroughly dressed down Remus left Grimmauld Place, heading into Muggle London. Not knowing how to handle his feelings. Overwhelming waves of regret. He regretted not helping the Potter's, he regretted not helping Sirius before his second chance at life fell through the veil. Most of all he regretted leaving his pregnant wife alone in the time of War. He knew he would die if he didn't have Dora in his life. He was lost and in pain without his wife, and he knew he had to get back to her. He had to show her that she was still the light in his world. He was cold and alone, and he didn't want to live the rest of his life like he had the last few days.

 **April 1998**

In the months following Remus' visit with Harry. He had become more attentive to Dora. She wasn't sure if it was because of the pregnancy or his wolfish protectiveness. She enjoyed the attention realizing that it wouldn't last forever. She had a small inkling that Remus was doting on her because of his own insecure feelings. She never asked what Harry told him to make Remus return. She was just glad that he did.

Edward Remus Lupin was born during the second week of April. Dora not being able to control her metamorphmagus abilities during the childbirth, and with every contraction her hair and eyes turned a different color. Her small Teddy was born with Remus' brown eyes and sandy hair. And minutes before he first feeding, it shifted to fire engine red as his hunger pains and emotions filled his tiny body.

 **May 1998**

When the word came late that night that the Order was needed and that He was ending the fight tonight at Hogwarts. Dora and Remus knew they had to hide Andy, Andromeda Dora's mother, and baby Teddy. They secured them both in a property that Andy had bought during the first war just for this reason. To hide, to wait it out. Dora leaned down and kissed the sleeping infant on the forehead. Unshrinking a box and putting it on the floor next to her mother's feet. Andromeda glanced at the contents, seeing it filled with Dora's journals,and favorite books from her own childhood, Remus' favorite novels, and a letter or two slipped in on the side. Laying on the top was Dora's AM/FM Radio Walkman, headphones and all. Before daybreak Andy felt the shimmer in the wards, where some altered themselves because they no longer could use the caster's magic. She let the tears flow freely down her face, and cradled her orphaned grandson against her chest.


End file.
